Friday, March 24, 2006

Sardine Addict

Blog Name: Sardine Addict
Comment Left: Smacky commends your hunt for co-posters. Perhaps you will get lucky and find someone who's posts don't appear to have been written by a slightly retarded chunk of rectal crust.

Smacky's Note: Check out this email response Smacky got from this blog's owner.
You are right! ... You seem to be a very articulate guy/girl, and I will be glad to have you as a co-poster. Please fill out the application.
Ha! For his efforts, Smacky has been insulted back, his posts deleted, and occasionally complimented. This is the first time the insulted blog owner has invited Smacky to become a co-poster!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Drugs and Alcohol

Blog Name: Drugs and Alcohol
Comment Left: Smacky disagrees with your assessment of drugs and alcohol. For one thing, if it wasn't for heroin and Jack Daniels, your blog would be about as interesting and entertaining as watching slow-motion church services.

1 : 1

Blog Name: 1 : 1
Comment Left: This wonderful photo of clouds also accurately depicts the amount of semen this blog's owner has had sprayed across his back over the past 3 years.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

A Day in the Life

Blog Name: A Day in the Life
Comment Left: Smacky was so glad to find your site. If Smacky can't randomly find at least 3 blogs called "A Day in the Life" per day, he starts to worry. This blog is about as original as "The Da Vinci Code".

Jill Writes

Blog Name: Jill Writes
Comment Left: Smacky saw your pictures Jill, and he thinks you are very pretty. He hopes this fact help makes up for your utter lack of writing ability.

Food for Thought

Blog Name: Food for Thought
Comment Left: Interesting blog title. "Food for Thought." I suppose the contents could be considered food for thought, but only after thought had ate the food, chased it down with a nice Chianti, thoroughly digested the food, and then excreted it out again.

So, the proper title of this blog should be "Thought Shit".

Monday, March 20, 2006

The Walls Have Eyes

Blog Name: The Walls Have Eyes
Comment Left: Smacky was going to insult this blog, but he was afraid you have some kind of Trenchcoat Mafia thing going on. After reading your blog, Smacky has come to the following conclusion:

The owner of this blog, and most of his friends, spend too much time masturbating to pictures of Amy Lee.

Smacky's Update: Smacky is stunned. This blog's owner, some twat called "the watcher", emailed Smacky and asked him to insult her blog. Then, she censored the comment, taking out the last line, worried that kids who come to her blog would read them. Remember, she invited Smacky to insult her blog, after reading Smacky's blog. What did she think, Smacky was going to make a joke about Elmo from Sesame Street?Smacky went easy on her, snd she still censored him. Which is why the watcher is the first ever recipient of Smacky's "Assinine Twat" award.


Blog Name: Daxohol
Comment Left: Smacky would like to inform you that your blog sucks worse than a chick with no cheeks.

Grita Ya!

Blog Name: Grita Ya!
Comment Left: Smacky found your blog when he began testing a new piece of software. Its like a search engine, only its specifically designed to find blogs that have been written by people whose IQs fall in the range of 7-44.

Smacky's Update: Looks like the owner of this blog actually disabled comments after Smacky left his. Nice to know that Smacky has had such a large impact on this blog.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Mysteria Electronica Maxima

Blog Name: Mysteria Electronica Maxima
Comment Left: ... rippling

like pretty


of so much
pretentious literary bullshit

odd spacings




Saturday, March 18, 2006

Outcast by Choice

Blog Name: Outcast by Choice
Comment Left: Smacky has read that you feel nervous when you see a squad car. Maybe the reason you fear the squad car is because you're worried they're the idiot police.

Smacky's Note: This is the first blog to be insulted as a result of an invitation from the blog owner. Hooray for Steppanwolf. What an ass.


Blog Name: Gangsta
Comment Left: The feeling that came over Smacky while reading your blog does not have a name. However, he can tell you that it was exactly the same feeling you would get if you saw that that the slice of pizza you had just finished was, unbeknownst to you, covered with anchovies and dead, rotting seagull intestines.


Blog Name: Lime
Comment Left: Your attempts at self-deprecation fail to adequately warn the reader just how pathetically awful this blog actually is.
Smacky's Notes: Once again, a blog that Smacky has insulted has shut down. The fact that it shut down within days of the insult is not lost on Smacky. Remember folks, Smacky is doing his best to weed the blog garden!

ET11 Robot

Blog Name: ET11 Robot
Comment Left: Smacky took the time to read carefully through your blog. Each and every entry. He is pleased to announce that he managed to do this while still keeping his lunch down.

This is sodhi's world

Blog Name: This is sodhi's world
Comment Left: Smacky would like to help your blog out by contributing a definition of his own.

The Sodhi's World blog: A depository of loathsome, doltish droolings, disguised as writing, with a world full of hapless suckers on one end and an obtuse and witless simian on the other.

Smacky's Note: Once again, a blog that Smacky insulted has shut down within days of the insult. This is number three that Smacky is aware of. Smacky is like Darwin, but for blogs.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Gazette de Beavette

Blog Name: Gazette de Beavette
Comment Left: Smacky cannot help but point out that Neil Young's music - as indeed did Neil Young himself - blow fetid dingo penis.

Smacky's Note: Another blog shut down after Smacky's insult. Smacky is particularly pleased that this blog shut down, because he's pretty sure it was run by French Nazis.

Emer Emma

Blog Name: Emer Emma
Comment Left: This blog has much to recommend it, provided one is a masochist looking for the literary equivalent of a boot in the privates.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Simple Thots

Blog Name: Simple Thots
Comment Left: Smacky loved the pictures. By any chance, is the photographer a blind, retarded ape? It would explain the framing and light balance issues.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Playing Doctor

Blog Name: Playing Doctor
Comment Left: Smacky would like to extend his sympathies to every other sad git who has had the misfortune to be exposed to this blog.

The Chronicles of Desprorado

Blog Name: The Chronicles of Desprorado
Comment Left: Interesting blog. You should contact the Guinness Book of Records. I'm sure they could invent some suitable category for this blog, something like "Most Cretinous Drool Crammed into one Poorly Written Excuse for a Blog", or perhaps "Biggest Stinky Poo Poo" or something.

Welcome to the Madness

Blog Name: Welcome to the Madness
Comment Left: Smacky has to take his glasses off to read this blog. You see, Smacky had special glasses made up, which filter out 98% of literary bullshit.
Smacky's Update: This blog is dead. It's a stiff, berift of life, it rests in peace.

Traduções & Retroversões

Blog Name: Traduções & Retroversões
Comment Left: Each successive logo serves to "Express" the fact that whoever designs these logos possesses the style and sense of artistic design of a catatonic dung beetle.


Blog Name: YamLive!
Comment Left: Smacky once encounterd a blog where the owner would daily publish a picture of the colony of mold growing on a bran muffin.

This blog has now replaced that blog as the stupidest blog on the Internet.

CLAP ........ CLAP ........ CLAP .....

I'm so right, it's offensive

Blog Name: I'm so right, it's offensive
Comment Left: Smacky got a good laugh reading your post, until he realized that you were probably serious. The Internet is a lovely place, and it allows us, through blogs like this one, to witness levels of idiocy rarely seen outside of an 18th century insane asylum.

Me in the News

Blog Name: Me in the News
Comment Left: Your astute political commentary leads Smacky to deduce two things:

1) Your views on foreign policy were likely stolen from a particularly dim-witted 4 year old child.
2) You are a twat.

In The Money

Blog Name: In The Money
Comment Left: Perhaps there is a reason everyone is staying away. Have you ever considered that it might be your breath and offensive dress sense?

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Smacky's Insult-O-Matic FAQ

Q. Who are you?
A. Smacky. Smacky is a mouse. A field mouse to be precise, although Smacky supposes the name is something of a misnomer, as Smacky does not live in a field. Smacky lives in a 4-bedroom condo in Nice. Near the beach.
Q. Why do you go around insulting other people's blogs?
A. Well, its fun. Also Smacky once encountered a blog called the "Complimenting Commmenter". The sole purpose of this site is to go around and compliment various blogs, regardless of merit. It seemed pretty stupid to Smacky. So, in the interests of universal balance and harmony, Smacky has decided to create a blog whose sole purpose is to go around insulting other blogs.
Q. Don't you think that's rather pointless?
A. Like this is the only pointless webpage on the Internet.
Q. Do you think your blog is better than everyone elses?
A. Hardly. Smacky realizes his blog is pretty pointless, but it amuses him, and gives him something to do while he tries to kick his addiction to heroin.
Q. How do you choose which blogs to insult?
A. Smacky chooses most of the blogs he insults at random. Smacky reads many blogs in a day, because he has nothing better to do. Smacky does not pick "bad" blogs, or blogs he "hates", or any such thing. The process is random. Just because a blog is insulted, does not mean it isn't a good blog.
Q. No, really, why do you do this?
A. Didn't Smacky already answer this question?
Q. What do you get out of this?
A. Smacky likes seeing how his insults are handled. Some people just delete them. Smacky hates these people, because they engage in censorship. Just because you don't like a comment, does not mean you should silence another person's voice. Smacky leaves all comments on his blog without altering them. Some people get annoyed, and come to Smacky's blog to post angry rebuttals. Smacky calls these people "idiots"; its all in good fun, you silly twats, so lighten up. Some people take the insults in good humour, and give as good as they get. Smacky likes these people.
Q. How would you feel if your hurtful comments caused someone to shut down their blog?
A. This has already happened. Smacky feels proud, knowing he has done his part to remove one small speck of pointless and idiotic pollution from the blogosphere.

Monday, March 06, 2006


Comment Left: You do a diservice to the reader when you say that "This blog is nothing fancy". You mislead the reader into thinking that the blog will probably contain a collection of poorly-written articles, created by some sub-literate primate, when in fact, it is much, much worse than that.
Smacky's Update: The pussy deleted Smacky's blog comment. Censorship reigns supreme at this blog!

Second Comment Left: Kirby hated censorship. Stop deleting Smacky's comments! It's not like there's anything else worth reading around here.

Third Comment Left: Hey, Mike, think you can take enough time out from tonguing out Kirby's dead anus to stop censoring your comments? You notice, Smacky leaves your comments alone. But then, Smacky does not promote censorship. Don't be a hater, Mike.

Fourth Comment Left: Did you hear the news? Mike (the owner of this blog) was recently arrested for having anal intercourse with Kirby's corpse. He didn't even use a condom.

Fith Comment Left: Kirby says hi from Hell, Mike. He asked Smacky to tell you that Babe Ruth is there too, and they each take turn sodomizing the other with baseball bats lubricated with the blood of baby seals.

Five Pipers ... Piping

Blog Name: Five Pipers ... Piping
Comment Left: Obviously, "Five Pipers Piping" is a thinly veiled reference to the act of masturbation; where the "five pipers" are, in fact, fingers, and the act of "piping" refers to the act of stroking the penis, or "pipe". Apparently, once this masturbation is completed, the gooey result of this unnatural phallic stimulation was collected and used to create this blog. Stinkyfingers should be the name of this blog.
Smacky's Update: Once again, Smacky's carefully thought-out comment was heartlessly deleted. This blog made Smacky cry.


Blog Name: Mish-mosh
Comment Left: Smacky thanks you, for you have given him much to think about. Smacky now has new questions to ponder, such as "How can a just and loving God allow this syphaletic cyst have his own blog?" and "I wonder what sucks harder, this blog or the anus of a goat with a vacuum cleaner hose stuffed down its throat?"
Smacky's Update: Smacky's comment was deleted. You know, for a supposedly "Christian" blog, this blog-owner sure is quick to censor comments he dislikes. And censorship is not what the Church is about young man!

s|mpLe yEt c0mpLeX

Blog Name: smpLe yEt c0mpLeX
Comment Left: Thank you so much for keeping this blog, for it answers that long-asked question: "I wonder what would happen if you gave a computer to a masturbating imbecile?"

Not Talking Multiple Choice

Blog Name: Not Talking Multiple Choice
Comment Left: Apparently, the Romans would pay a pretty drachma for a pair of soiled panties.

Oh, btw your blog sucks sweaty dingo testicles.


Blog Name: smart
Comment Left: Smacky thanks you for this update. Without people like you, who would keep the world up to date on the ever-changing world of superficial and pointless drivel?

(Smacky's Note: This blog may be the most horrifically misnamed thing since a pan of rotting horse manure was mistakenly labelled "Brownies" at Mrs. McMurphy's Bake Sale and Jumbo Penny Market).

A Writer's Journal

Blog Name: A Writer's Journal
Comment Left: Wow, what a funny story. Smacky thinks that both you and the drive-thru order guy have the sense of humour of a retarded pit bull.

Headline Blog

Blog Name: Headline Blog
Comment Left: Smacky believes that if Oscar Wilde were alive today, he could squeeze out a steaming plateful of fecal pudding that would make a better blog than this.


Blog Name: NeoProgBlog
Comment Left: Your astute political opinions and insight lead Smacky to believe that you are the product of a mating union between an inbred, 13-toed bedwetter and Don Knotts' left testicle.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

G-Strings & Candy Bars

Blog Name: G-Strings & Candy Bars
Comment Left: Smacky would like to compare your blog to some of the writings of Dorothy Parker. Unfortuantely, he cannot, because Ms. Parker never wrote such a collection of unadulterated crap.

Starting Off

Blog Name: Starting Off
Comment Left: Smacky is at a loss here. First off, you call yourself John Steinbeck. If this is your real name, that's one thing (although your parents are clearly twits). If you chose this name yourself, then you are one egotistical would-be writer.
Secondly, you claim to be a writer. And yet, your post is riddled with spelling mistakes. From your title "gettihng started" to your claim that you "...learned a lot about stylistic writing and lokking at patterns".

So, not much sense in insulting this blog; your own writing does that quite well.

Chew your grouse

Blog Name: Chew your grouse
Comment Left: Smacky found it humourous to note that you were posting about the lady's financial opinions, and yet still took the time to mock her appearance.
Which makes you a bitch.


Blog Name: kaio1
Comment Left: Smacky would like to thank you for this photograph. He needed something to help induce vomiting in his cat.

Shut up Get out

Blog Name: Shut up Get out
Comment Left: Smacky would like to suggest a few other things that should go without saying:

"Do not Read this Blog"
"This Blog Sucks"
"Reading this Blog could Lead to Retinal Bleeding"


Blog Name: Formula1-News
Comment Left: Smacky was quite pleased to find your blog, because he just recently ran out of Nembutal.


Blog Name: Lycanthropy
Comment Left: Smacky feels that the term "Canadian Music" can be compared to phrases such as "Chinese Wine", "American Values" and "French War Heroes".